Have you ever changed your mind on something really huge? I did last week and it was terrifying.
So, we just sold a house last month, and we bought two others – one to live in temporarily and one to renovate for our dream house.
We had been planning it for a while, and we’d spent months on our Pinterest boards on the exact type of layout we wanted, a big Hampton’s style chillionaire beach house (that’s literally the design brief).
We found an older property on a huge piece of land in a prestige area of town and within weeks we had bought it, signed with an architect and found short term tenants while we created the plans for our dream house.
And then last week… I changed my mind.
I realized that the area for the “dream house” wasn’t where we really wanted to live at all.
I was so worried to voice this because so many people were involved – we literally just bought the land, and our architects were about to present the first round of drafts.
If I’m honest with myself, I had niggling doubts for a few weeks.
I kept telling myself, “Just go along with it, it won’t be forever. You can move to your real dream area in the future”
I even said to myself “Just live there for ten years THEN you can build another dream house”
Well – if you know me, I am a very impatient person. Plus I like setting really big goals for myself. Nothing is impossible.
So, why was I willing to compromise?
To be honest I was tired and just wanted other people to sort it out for me. The decision about what to do when we sold our house seemed … too complicated.
(Don’t buy a house when you’re heavily pregnant or just had a baby … Don’t buy two like I just did!!).
Plus, I chickened out on what I really wanted.
Every day, at 4pm, a note pops up on my phone that says “Congrats on your chillionaire beach house!” (I really recommend using your phone for your goals – just set a calendar reminder to pop up every day.)
The last few weeks, when it popped up, I felt this “Nope” feeling deep in my belly. A little whisper said “Right house, wrong area.”
BUT WE LITERALLY JUST SIGNED.
So I ignored the niggles because I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone, and besides, it was “already in motion” so I couldn’t undo it, could I?
Yes, I was willing to spend a LOT of money to be the “nice girl”.
The Universe seriously intervened though.
Our temporary house was getting some renovations, and they weren’t ready in time so we got a holiday rental right on the beach for a week. Right in my dream area.
Every morning we walked up and down the promenade, and I kept saying,
“Wow, I wished we lived here but we can’t…”
“Wouldn’t it be nice if we lived here…”
“Too bad we’re already committed….”
These are HUGE signs by the way. If you’re saying “Wouldn’t it be nice if…?”, that’s probably a dream that you haven’t properly articulated yet.
Then I said to Mark, “Remember when we first moved to this town, and we were broke but we’d walk this beach and say ‘One day we’ll live here.’”
Yes! We did. I had totally forgotten!
We were living in a tiny apartment. I was just starting my life coaching business, and I had this crappy car that had a saggy roof, but every day we’d go to the beach and dream.
We’d say to each other:
“One of these houses is our future house.”
“How awesome is it going to be when we live here?”
I would even drive around the area and pretend I was going home. I’d drive up to one of my favorite houses (a multi million dollar beach mansion) and pretend it was mine.
Why did we forget? Why were we willing to compromise?
Our last house was in the same postcode, and we had a bit of an ocean view from the upstairs bedroom but it wasn’t absolute beach front.
So, I asked myself WHY can’t I live where I want?
That’s a really useful exercise. Ask yourself all the reasons WHY you’re not allowed to have big dreams. These are your limiting self-beliefs.
Here’s what I came up with:
“Only rich people in their fifties buy houses here, they’ve earned it”.
So therefore people in their thirties shouldn’t buy beach mansions, it’s just against the natural order of things. It’s “inappropriate.” Best to live in a smaller house and when we’re older, we can have the dream house.
“We should do our time in the suburbs and work towards it.”
Hence why I thought we should live ten years in the other house and then we’d “earn the right” to live right on the ocean. Maybe every year we could move a street closer?
“There’s so much horrible stuff going on in the world, it’s crass to want a huge house on the beach.”
This is a huge one. I didn’t even want to talk about this publicly because it does feel crass. You might even be reading this article thinking “stupid white rich girl problems” and you’re right. It’s ridiculous that I was agonizing over building a big house in the suburbs vs building a beach mansion.
BOO HOO. (We call these #luckybitchproblems in my Money Bootcamp community). Some people have real problems.
And yet – it’s still okay to want to achieve big goals EVEN when there is shitty things going on in the world. You can care, and still have superficial goals.
“You can’t change your mind once you’ve spent money.”
Yes, we’ve spent a bunch of money on legal fees, land surveys and project management. You know that saying “in for a penny, in for a pound?” I was taking that to mean that just because we’d invested, it was stupid to “lose” that money.
“They’ll think I’m a flake.”
Yep. I was willing to go along with a plan I didn’t want because I didn’t want people to think badly of me. Can you relate?
“Our cars would rust being so close to the ocean.”
I was stretching on this one. I just wanted to see what other random excuses I’d have. Honestly, when you have resistance around a goal, it’s really useful to come up with as many excuses as you can think of. They all compound and when you can remove them one at a time, it will help make the goal seem more doable.
But really, there was one excuse that was the biggest one – my old friend;
“I’d have to work really HARD to make this a reality.”
This one has come up for me at ALL levels of income! I kept dismissing the desire of the goal because it felt way too hard to achieve. I kept telling myself that if I made “that kind of money” I’d have to work REALLY hard.
But yet… the dream wouldn’t go away. There was a little whisper in my heart that said “You could have this if you want it.”
I was scared to even voice my doubt out loud because I know the power of words. Once I said it, there would be no going back.
Sometimes I ask the universe just to sort out problems for me and this time the message was “Sure, but you have to get it started.”
So one morning, we woke up with the sound of the ocean, we saw dolphins and whales in the water and my soul just lit up.
THIS is where my chillionaire house should be.
So I gathered up my courage and said to Mark, “I’m really sorry but I’ve changed my mind about the house. I want to live here instead.”
As soon as I voiced it… Massive relief.
Luckily Mark got it straight away and within two hours, we had reversed the decision. Our project manager and architect were told (they understood thankfully!), and the estate agent informed it would go back on the market soon.
It was undone.
But like with any big goal, there is still work to do. I have to dig deeper on my excuses, and change my self-belief that it’s possible for me to live amongst the richest people in town.
I’m giving myself permission to want something luxurious, decadent, even outrageously expensive.
I have to uplevel.
But I’ve made clear my desire. I’ve acknowledged what I want, and I’m willing to grow and change in myself to make it happen. I know it’s not necessarily the money – it’s the alignment with the goal.
Already the universe is already rearranging itself. I’m making changes in my business to uplevel some of my offerings (perfect people have come out of the woodwork to help, ideas are flowing) so I can hit my income goals, and we’re going to visit that area as often as we can to anchor it in.
Big lesson – nothing is irreversible!
So we’re back on the house manifesting train and I’m following my very own Manifesting Formula process:
- Digging into any more excuses and self beliefs, and clearing them (I like using EFT). Giving myself permission for it to be easy and enjoyable!
- Getting clearer on our real desires, including how close we’d like to be to the ocean, which streets we’d like to live on, and what kind of house we’d like. Work out how much money we’d need.
- Print out dream boards of our dream house, visit the area multiple times and anchor it in.
- Go to open houses in the area, tell agents that we’re looking and give them our desired list. Take action on money making activities in my business.
- Be open to messages and allow myself to dream about it. Get excited about living there soon.
This is a specific process that I use to manifest anything, and I’ve got a free video series and cheat sheet here.
Here are some lessons for you:
It’s ok to want what you want
Yes some of your desires are BIG and might feel uncomfortable. But give yourself permission to have big dreams.
It’s okay to change your mind
You can say no, even if it pisses off other people. Even if it’s inconvenient for others. Even if it’s a lot of work to undo. Even if you already said yes.
Pay attention to your gut
Those little niggles come up for a reason, and you can ignore them but most of the time you WILL regret it. Stop and ask yourself “what’s going on? Why do I feel this?”
My new philosophy is “A niggle of doubt really means NO.”
Work on your money blocks
I’m seriously working on mine all the time when I have a new big goal. Working on your money stuff is forever, this is ongoing work as your goals change
Don’t worry about the how
You don’t need to know all the “how’s” to voice your desires. You can figure that out later. Let yourself dream. Dreaming is free after all!
Do you need to honor your goals and change your mind?
Clearing the way to your real goal is actually the first step that I teach in my five-step manifesting process. Each one is just as important as the other, but that is definitely the first one, so start there.
If you need help and you want to know what the other steps are, then just go to www.LuckyBitch.com/Formula.
You can get my free Manifesting Course – and use the cheat sheet to go through the five steps with whatever goal you’re manifesting right now, whether it’s to gain three new clients, to increase your income by 10% this month, or to manifest a new house.
Get started on my free Manifesting Course at www.LuckyBitch.com/Formula.
It’s your time, and you’re totally ready for the next step.
Did you miss last week’s video? Check it out here: When Should You Pay Yourself a Salary?