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Lucky Bitch Video Transcript –How to Live a Guilt Free Life

guilt free lifeThis is my favorite one. Ah, I love this because I get so angry about it. It’s about defining guilt free luxury for yourself. “Luxury” is a bit of a loaded word, I think, in our society. It’s a word that either is meaningless or a word that is over the top.

I get really angry about TV ads a lot. Tell me:

What are women shown in the media about luxury?

How are we shown to take care of ourselves and have a luxurious time with ourselves?

Audience: Remove all of our hair.

Oh, my God! So luxurious! Ah! If I have no hair, my life is so luxurious. But, yeah, that’s a good one. What else?

Audience: Losing weight.

Losing weight. Yep. Ice cream. Eat chocolate.

Audience: Tampons.

Yes! Tampons. Feminine hygiene products. It’s like, “Oh, my God. My life is so amazing with these tampons!”

Yeah. What else?

Audience:  Body wash.

Amazing body wash. Oh, my God. Isn’t it just like that tea ad where they’re getting out the china and putting on the kettle. It’s a tea bag that would cost like two cents, right?

But, it’s so interesting because when you look at the kind of stuff that we are shown as luxurious as women!

Oh, this is a bar of soap. How much is a flake? A dollar? Two dollars? No, I’m for real. I don’t know because I’ve lived so long in the UK, I have no idea. I’m like, “Oh, my God.”

Who has a shower like that, by the way? Look at how smug and just excited this woman is about her dish washing powder. She’s wealthy, she’s rich, and she’s satisfied.

This one. Oh, when we’re watching TV at night, some of the nights I’m like, “Oh, don’t!” I’m like, “Did you see that ad?” So, you go girl. You deserve this. It’s a piece of chocolate. It doesn’t matter if you deserve it. Just have it. It’s not very much money, right?

What is that woman doing?

Audience: Spraying.

She’s dancing in her house because she’s got an Airwick Freshener. She’s so thrilled about her air freshener. Oh, my God. How fucking condescending.

A lot of this stuff isn’t even expensive — I mean, the air freshener, that is just household crap. Right?

There’s a new ad at the moment with a lady vacuuming the house and she’s wearing a little white dress and she’s prancing around vacuuming. Have you guys seen that one? Oh, my God. Get a cleaner. The cleaner can do it.

Chocolate. All that kind of stuff. It’s so annoying.

What about men? What are men shown as having a luxurious life?

Audience:  Cars. Watches. Aftershave.

Yeah, and aftershave for sure. There are some cheap things, but they’re not shown in the same way. It’s not shown as, “Have a luxurious life. Treat yourself. You deserve it.” It’s like, “Do this and women will have sex with you.”

Whereas the men, it’s shown like — even if it is something that’s quite cheap. Say a can of beer. If it was a drink for women, it’s about, “Get together with your friends and have a cup of tea because you deserve it because you work so hard cleaning your house and having orgasms over your air freshener. It’s time to have a break. You deserve it.” It’s a cup of tea, right?

Whereas, beer or something that’s cheap for men is shown as, “Hey, this is just what we do. We hang out and have a beer together. It’s not a special occasion; it’s just something that we do.”

I got a few things here. George Clooney, obviously. God, motorbikes and everything has always got a woman in it and their luxury is different. It’s more expensive, for a start. It’s about sex. It’s almost like it’s not like, “You deserve it.” It’s like, “This is your God-given right. This is how you should live,” not, “This is how you deserve to live because we’re going to let you. We’re going to allow you to do it.”

I want you to redefine luxury for yourself.

This is the thing about being a leader, we have to not buy into that shit.

Don’t buy into the idea that it’s a treat for you to buy air freshener, because it’s not.

It’s not a treat.

I know it sounds funny, but that’s how they portray it. Right? It’s like the most satisfying thing you can do is have a germ-free house that smells really lovely like flowers. It’s not. It’s not that at all.

I think that’s probably why a lot of women do feel dissatisfied because you’re shown this is how you’re going to be happy and it’s NOT how it makes us happy. It makes us angry a lot of the time.

We need to define what luxury really means to you because that’s when you start to feel really good about yourself and about your life.

It doesn’t have to be expensive stuff, but it has to be real. It has to be more than a pretend to treat yourself.

Want some help with your mindset?

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Denise Duffield-Thomas | Lucky Bitch



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  1. Your point about attitudes towards spending for men and women is so spot on! I remember growing up my mum telling me that my brother needed to spend more on himself because men’s shoes and clothes were just more expensive than women’s, when in actual fact it was just that he refused to settle for the cheap stuff…..(and no one expected him to).

  2. I laughed so much during this, it’s so funny and sooo true…

    I’ll admit, a fancy 85% chocolate does feel luxurious, and I eat it bit by bit (unlike cheap chocolate which I stuff my face with.

    A dinner in a fancy restaurant. I still feel the sting when I get the bill, but I love good food so much…

    Fancy clothes and shoes and handmade gemstone jewelry – however, I rarely even find something that delights me, let alone buy. My favorite shoes are 10 years old and still look great… But my red polkadot shoes I was able to afford only when they were 50% make me feel like a star.

    Books. Lovely, illustrated, hardcover or leather-bound. I spent a ton of money on books and they made my moves from apartment to apartment a nightmare.

    And I have a totally silly example, a 10$ wooden tray that I use to carry my sketchbook, planner and sketching supplies from room to room. Such a small thing that made my life so much easier. I associate it with my time spent in peace and quiet every morning, that’s why it feels luxurious.

    • Nela, I love the wooden tray analogy… Whilst luxury is often the “nicer” things in life… Like drinking expensive bubbles with my besties (instead of the cheap shit), or the savouring the “good chocolate”

      Often it’s the little things for me that add touches of luxury to my life… Not because I’m “allowed”, but because abundance is how I want to feel on a daily basis, so I bring touches of it into my life… Going out for a cup of coffee (or indulging in my first cup of the day, in bed, catching up on the world), having fresh flowers in my home, or having a manicure / back massage… Moments of decadence everywhere is awesome!

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