Picking up the phone to ask my parents for money is one of the hardest and most humiliating things I’ve ever had to do. Me, who’d always prided myself of being self-sufficient since I was 18. Me, who was hailed by my peers as a success.
Nobody knew that I had always been overspending, living on short-term credit from the bank and re-mortgaging my home every so often to cover the accumulating debt.
What they didn’t know was my ostrich-like pattern of burying my head in the sand at the slightest hint of problems, and dodging phone calls from creditors and bank managers. I knew it couldn’t go on forever, but I was willing to give it a go.
Of course the universe had other plans.
A customer I was ghostwriting a book for told me she couldn’t pay the $10,000 invoice I’d just sent her.
My world crumpled. The $10,000 dollars was just the tip of the iceberg. I had heaps of unpaid bills and outstanding credits.
I had to face the reality of my financial situation for the first time in years.
I added up all my debt and outstanding bills. I figured out what I had coming in. I made a budget for what I would need to pay everything on time and survive the next three months. Result: I needed $32,473 now.
If I didn’t get the money I would loose my home.
The answer from my bank was short: No more credit.
There was no avoiding the phone call to my parents. We had a really good talk, and later that night my dad transferred the money to my account. I knew I had to change my relationship with money.
So I took action:
- I paid all my outstanding bills and the ones due in the next few weeks
- I fired the VA I (obviously) couldn’t afford
- I fired my bookkeeper and signed up for a bookkeeping class to get a better feel for my money
- I went through all my expenses – in my business and personal life – and got rid of the ones I didn’t need or use
- I went through my closet and decluttered my basement, and put everything I didn’t use or need for sale online
- I started reading books about money and implementing the tips that resonated with me
- I signed up for the Lucky Bitch Money Bootcamp and began changing my money mindset
I went through every part of my life to declutter and simplify it.
The relief I felt cannot be described.
For the first time in years I began to feel in control of not just my money, but my entire life.
I attended a seminar in London with Marianne Williamson, and she changed the way I do business. She encouraged us to ask, “How can I serve?” in whatever we do. And trust that the market place will show us if our offerings are not of service.
I took some quiet time, just me and plenty of white wine, to tap into my zone of genius. What was it in my current business that was not of service, and how could I focus on being more of service?
The epiphany came when I realised that in my courses and coaching I had mainly focused on helping other writers pitch and sell their books, when in fact I made the biggest difference in the life of the writers I helped on a much deeper level. The writers, which were procrastinating and holding themselves back because of fear, self-doubt and limiting beliefs.
From this insight grew a whole new business. My focus changed, I doubled my prices, and I’m ecstatic to report that I’ve just launched a new e-book. It has done better in the first couple of weeks than anything I’ve ever launched before.
I’m no longer stuck in scarcity thinking, and I’ve let go of trying to control where the money comes from. I’ve also adopted one of Denise’s mantras:
I serve, I deserve.
Now I trust that as long as I am of service the money that I need will come.
Pernille Norregaard is a Danish writer. She has written and ghosted 12 non-fiction books. She is the creator of The Divine Writer, where she helps writers find their voice and flow, so they can write with ease, confidence and purpose. If you’re looking to create a more consistent writing practice, check out her Divine Guide to Creating a Daily Writing Practice.